25 Funniest College Football Player Names Ever - Lost Lettermen

25 Funniest College Football Player Names Ever

August 13th, 2012| by

  • QB: Jim Bob Cooter (Tennessee)

    There have been many great college football players over the years. That’s why we decided to honor the 25 Funniest College Football Names Ever.

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    It’s hard to overlook Maryland’s Dick Shiner and Northeast Oklahoma A&M’s Kokain Mothershed but Cooter – a current NFL assistant coach – is forever an SEC legend for a name that screams “redneck” and “pervert” at the same time.

  • RB: Ben Gay (Garden City CC)

    He has the same name as a heat rub to relieve joint pain. Enough said.

  • RB: Richie Rich (North Carolina)

    Who wants to have the same name as a snot-nosed brat played by Macaulay Culkin? Hopefully No. 26 below.

  • WR: George Shorthose (Missouri)

    A receiver for the Tigers in the 1980s, the team shower must have been, uh, fun.

  • WR: Fair Hooker (Arizona State)

    U.S. Olympian Destinee Hooker raised eyebrows with her name at the 2012 Olympics but many people forget about Fair Hooker, the ASU wideout in the 1960s.

  • TE: Kyle Sackrider (Michigan State)

    Any last name with “sack” is unfortunate. “Sackrider”? That’s just tragic.

  • OL: Guy Whimper (East Carolina)

    Opposing NFL defensive linemen must have a field day before every snap with that last name.

  • OL: Jordan Shelley-Smith (Kansas)

    First, Shelley-Smith had to grow up with a last name that sounds like a full girl’s name. Then he had to endure jokes about having the same name as an ESPN sideline reporter.

  • OL: Blaze Ryder (Navy)

    This Navy center from Hawaii also has a brother, Wave Ryder. Riding a wave makes sense, but riding a blaze? Not so much.

  • OL: Heath Cockburn (Furman)

    How many STD jokes do you think Cockburn heard over the years? We’d put the over/under at infinity.

  • OL: Thor Jozwiak (USF)

    You just can’t say his first name without screaming, “Thorrrrrr!” This offensive lineman with a super hero’s first name is perfect for playing in the trenches.

  • DL: Stalin Colinet (Boston College)

    We’re guessing Colinet’s parents didn’t realize the former Soviet leader was a mass-murderer. At least they had the sense not to name him Hitler Colinet.

  • DL: Jose Jose (UCF)

    What’s with the double name? Kicked off the team at UCF, we hope Jose resurfaces. It won’t be hard to find him.

  • DL: Dee Liner (Alabama)

    This kid was born to play the position.

  • DL: Lion King (Eastern Michigan)

    That’s right, his name is Lion King. We can only hope he has a sister named The Little Mermaid.

  • LB: Lucious Pusey (Eastern Illinois)

    When Pusey’s name surfaced in 2006, the Internet almost broke. Fortunately, he changed his last name – but not until after his media guide picture went viral.

  • LB: Brown Marks (Indiana)

    There’s no picture of him at IU so we improvised. We’re guessing this 1960s player checked his pants every time he threw them in the Hoosiers’ dirty hamper.

  • LB: Yourhighness Morgan (FAU)

    The only player whose own coaches have referred to as Yourhighness. Brilliant.

  • DB: Money Hunter (Arkansas State)

    When Hunter says he’s “All about the money,” he’s not joking around…

  • DB: Dick Felt (BYU)

    Playing for the Cougars in the 1950s, Felt hopefully didn’t endure too much harassment because Dick was such a common name at the time. We just want to know if he ever became friends with ex-Maryland QB Dick Shiner.

  • DB: Earthwind Moreland (Georgia Southern)

    We love Earth, Wind & Fire as much as the next guy, but we wouldn’t name our kid after the funk band.

  • DB: Harry Colon (Missouri)

    An early 1990s player, this just sounds like a name Bart Simpson would use on “The Simpsons” for prank calls.

  • LS: Andrew John Economos

    How’s that for a mouthful? Economos played at Georgia Tech but unfortunately did not major in Economics.

  • P: Ben Bologna (Princeton)

    Being named after a sandwich meat must be brutal. If his last name was pastrami, at least he wouldn’t have to face, “What a bunch of bologna” jokes.

  • K: Chris Blewitt (Pitt)

    What are the chances this kid became a kicker? Every single miss leaves open the possibility for heckles and headlines of “You Blewitt!!!”

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